Really. I'd LOVE to be now, the size I was then. A blonde toothpick. Hello.
Okay, now let me speed myself back to reality.
Two kids and one husband later...
I'm 34 years old, only days away from being 35 and at this point I feel tired and worn down. I have bags under my eyes and I could very easily be 200 pounds overweight. Okay, not that much but it feels that way. In my defense, raising two very active girls isn't easy. Don't get me wrong, I love taking care of my family. They're my whole world, but time has flown by and as everyone else is thriving, I don't feel like I've moved a muscle in life. Unless you want to count the fact that I'm growing older and wider. At this point I feel like I'm gonna grow old, sitting in my little rocking chair while my grand babies play with all of my arm fat.
I'm not even joking. I did it to my grandma until she'd get tired of me doing it.
Some might call it a mid-life crisis, a nervous breakdown, a mom meltdown. Whatever you choose to call it is okay by me. The point, is that it's time for this mama to make some big changes. I know I'm loved, but what bothers me is that I don't love myself. You can tell me I'm pretty until you're blue in the face, but in the end I won't believe a word of it. Truth is, I don't feel it. I feel run down. I've spent the last 16 years taking care of everyone else and I've let myself go. I've forgotten that aside from my family, I'm still a woman with dreams. A woman with many talents and a woman who longs for adventure.
I've decided to find myself again. Sure, it'll be quite a balancing act but I feel like I'm worth it. I've decided to start with losing some much needed weight. It's going to be so tough, especially when it comes to food, but I'm putting everything I have into it. That's the reason for this blog. I figured that this would be a much better outlet than blowing up your Facebook feeds. You're welcome. I also know that there are some of you who doubt that I can do it, and that's okay. I've been down the weight loss road many, many times but you only fail if you stop trying. I hope that I'm lucky enough to come across nothing but encouragement, but if I run across some opposition I pray that it'll only make me stronger.
At the end of the weight loss journey, lies a new adventure. I've decided to give myself the gift of a personal photo shoot. I have racked my brain on things I could work towards. Season football passes, a girls' vacation, spa treatments. I've really thought of everything, but when a photo shoot ran across my mind, I thought it was the perfect idea. I'll soon be 40 you know. I think it fits right into my journey of self discovery. I've never been a front and center girl, so posing in front of a camera will be quite an event I'm sure.
I won't lie though...
I'd love to bring my sexy back. It existed you know.
So here's to day one. I hope you'll follow along with me.
It's time to woman up.