I won't even lie to you. I'm feeling very alive this morning! It's such a good feeling to be back in a place of worship, a place where you're passion is busting from the seams, a place where your heart has been from day one of meeting Jesus. I've learned, that digging yourself deeper into a pit of disappointment isn't going to get you any closer to trying to make a difference for Jesus in this world. It sickens me to know how much time I've wasted on things that are completely out of my control anyway.
Nevertheless, it's good to be back.
These past two days, I've been studying in the Book of Proverbs. For me, it's a tough book and as I read through, every chapter seems to be a harder pill to swallow. I've always heard though, that anything worth doing is never easy. I'm finding though, that my biggest problem isn't reading through these chapters and knowing that I'm a sinner. (A sinner saved by grace, mind you) It's consistency.
(of a person, behavior, or process) unchanging in achievement or effect over a period of time.
If you find this word in the dictionary, don't worry, you won't find my picture there. Sometimes, I shake my head at my own self because as a Christian, I've been equipped with all the right tools and half the time I don't even use them. I've found myself to be an inconsistent follower of Jesus. Honestly, that's probably the biggest truth I've told myself in a really long time.
It feels good to be honest with myself.
The good news, is that Jesus doesn't beat me up for it. So I'm not going to beat myself up either. Jesus is willing to forgive me and move on to greater things, and so I'm going to do the same. There is so much more that I could continue to write, but I can see my open Bible from of the corner of my eye and it's calling my name.
I'm ready for my soul to awake.
Speak to me, Lord. I'm your's.